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MacBeth lolmac wrote in bethinexile
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Long and Prosperous Life
I started watching Star Trek when it first aired.  I was in second grade at the time, and I completely and totally fell into fannish squee for the first of many times in my life (although I didn't have a word for it until decades later).  We had a black-and-white set then; I didn't see it in colour until years later.

For the rest . . . Wil Wheaton said it better, so I'm going to quote him.

"I was too young to fully understand why, but as I got older and looked back on those years, it became clear: I identified with Spock because he was weird, and cerebral, and he was different from everyone else. He was just like me, but the things that made me a target of ridicule on the playground made him a valuable and vital member of his ship’s crew. In ways that I couldn’t articulate at the time, I wanted to be Mister Spock because if I was, I could be myself – quiet, bookish, alien to the people around me and it wouldn’t be weird. It would be awesome."

I didn't have a word for what I was, but Mr. Spock gave me one.  Leonard Nimoy created a character that gave me a way to think about myself that wasn't an automatic self-denigration.  He may have done more than any other person to save my sanity as I struggled my way through childhood and adolescence.  Ultimately, I had to get beyond the Vulcan model -- Luke Skywalker turned up just at the right time -- but it was Spock who got me ready for the Jedi.

Excuse me now -- I'm going to be watching a Trek marathon for a while . . .

Funny. I identified with Captain Kirk because he was all the things I was not, take-charge, extroverted, swash-buckling. All those adjectives that really, really don't apply to shy, bright, watchful me. I understood the appeal of Spock. I could identify with the outsider, the figure with so much more going on inside than we ever got to see, or he ever wanted to show. The optimist in me kept whispering though, whispering "Yeah, that may be you now, but you can find a way to join, a way to share what you hide inside. Don't settle!"

So acquaintances and townsfolk know my outer Spock, and those I choose get to know, my inner Captain. I won't say Kirk, specifically, because there is a frat boy aspect that I will never, ever be on board with.

That said, Leonard Nimoy was, by all accounts, a gifted, intelligent, kind, and generous man, who worked to leave this world a better place than he found it. We need as many of those as we can find. In the words of his own faith, may his memory be for a blessing.

Edited at 2015-02-28 21:10 (UTC)

*hearts this*

Beautifully said. I did not encounter ST until I was a young adult and as soon as I did I wished I would have known it as a kid because it might have helped me through childhood on some levels. I gave my heart to Bones in the first place and there it remains to this day - but Spock (and Kirk) quickly became just as important to me. Especially Spock whom I often could relate to in his 'being different'. Leoanrd Nimoy brought his character to live in such unique and wonderful ways. And the man behind Spock was just as wonderful fron what I know about him. He has joined my Bones now... up in the stars - I wish him a wonderful joruney.

Thank you for this....and yes, Wil perfectly expressed my own thoughts. I just...yeah...thank you for this.



Thank you for sharing this! :)


"Ultimately, I had to get beyond the Vulcan model -- Luke Skywalker turned up just at the right time -- but it was Spock who got me ready for the Jedi."

My Star Trek race is Vulcan, and Jedi is my religion, and you said things just fine. Sigh...